as a bad kid. At a young age I started using drugs and drinking. I did manage to graduate from high
school,I dont know how because I was always on something. After Graduation I went out on my own,
after about 3 years of living on my own I hit my bottom. I lost my apartment,car and the respect of those who really loved and cared about me. Everybody seemed to hate me hell I even hated myself. So
I went to seek help for my problem. At this point I had reached the point where I would do anything to
get clean and sober. I was very anxious to do as I was told. I would run around asking how I could help.
They saw this weakness in me so I played thier fool. They told me to be rigorusly honest with them about everything. I was told that I must surender all and get a higher power of my choosing. Later I
found out to be accepted by them my higher power must have certen qualitys. He must be self-rightious,
judgemental,fear of his wrath and of course obediance to all. I bowed down and started to believe every
one's opinions of what was wrong with me. I was as honest as I could possibly be to these people. Every
thing I said seemed to give them more amunition to judge me as to everything they seen wrong with me. My problem was that I didn't have the balls to stand up for myself at this time. When I got home I
would build resentments agianst these people and always end up taking it out on those who really loved
me for who I was. For 7 years I lived with all this anger an self-pity within me,and always end up getting high or drunk. At the end of 7 years tring to get sober I was told that I was incapable of
rigorusly honest and I seemed to have been born that way,and that my chances at a good and sober
life was less than average. This drove me into a deep depression. So I went to see a mental health
profesional. Sure enough he judged me as being a parinoid sctzo. I was given all sorts of anti-sycotics
to help me. This did solve my drug and alcohol problem,but I lost all since of self in the prosess. For
15 years I was in and out of mental instutions. I still believed and trusted in God and others so I would just sit around believe in all thier mental illness lies about me and that's who I became. Then
I would go back to the 12 step program and learn what elese was wrong with me. After 15 years of
living this madness I became sicker than I ever was on street drugs or alcohol. Everyone would hug
me and tell me what a great program at this time. Whenever I got happy they always seemed to come
up to me and put thier arms around me and get real serious. They would tell me that they were really
concerned because they saw me going down the same path once more. This would always put me back into my whole of misery. I thought to myself if I was working such a good program and everyone loved me then why were there 3 suicide attempts during these years. During the institution years I learnd exacatally the way society was through the Christ. Finally I got up enough courage
to tell my shrink to just take her pills and shuve them. After this I started to see all this evil I went
through was all done through the Christ. When he was born he cast judgement agiant all humanity
of us all being sinners and unworthy of God's love accept through him. This brought fear of buning
in hell if we didn't follow his self-rightious words. There for this whole society seems to think they all
know whats best for others. They seem to all think it's through love and caring that we are rightious
in tring to change others. I found that in reality this is what brings all the sin we find on this earth
today. I know that God really frowns apon this because we are messing with his perfection. He made
us all with differnt views and beliefs for a reason. We would all be wise to remember that we are all
equals in his eyes and free to create our own destinys. God never intended us to live in fear of his judgements and disrespect others we see as differnt or wrong. Jesus was not of this earth in the first
place. The divine were jelious of our freedom to have are own heart and souls. They sent one of thier
own to insert a fetus in to the most obiedian virgin he could find on this earth.We are just learng about how artifishal insemulation work today so this is not really are far jump from reality. The star person named Gabrial preformed this act,and told Mary that it was a miracal and she should be proud
to have been chosen to concieve the son of God. He was born for dying to decieve mankind. We killed him because he had more self-rightiousness and had the adasity to think he was right and the rest of the world was evil. When he died humanity wonderd just what they had done,at this time the
lie of humanity being unworthy of God's love was believed. This brought fear of judgement apon us
all. This is the reason we find all the leaders thinking they know they know whats best for everybody
and all the greed for money. Now that we are reaching the end money has now become our God. If we look at all the preachers we can soon learn how thier bible can be used to taking advantage of
those who still believe all this insanity. I can see how this society pays Christ protection money to keep them safe from evil. This is about 20% of all thier cash. They take this so far as to tell you that
if you cant afford to take care of your family that if you give a T.V. evangilist all you money and we
would be blessed and God will send you a mirical this is also used for hope of recovery from all that's
going on in your life. This all works out great for the chuch because they will be rich and most of the
others in society will be blead bone dry of any hope what so ever. When we can all find the truth in our hearts we will see that our God is not one of judgement,self-rightiousness,fear and obiediance
at all that's the other guy. Our God is one of love and acceptance and loves us all equally. But we still
must fight this self-rightiousness in our everyday lives. Today I found the only way to get rid of this
self-rightious beast he must be appised through his own words. We must loose all the hate inside and
tell him that we know of all the evil you brought apon this earth,but we still love and forgive him for
what he has done and we feel very sorry for you. When the Apocolypse comes this will be an unvieling of the truth. After this we will all see we were decieved and the man behind the curtin was
a fake all along just like the wizard of oz story. We will find we all had the love of God within us all along and soon after this world will finally know peace. This is just my story but im sure that everyone has thier own stories of how we were rapped by the Christ all we have to do is look inside
ourselves and try to find out why all the confusion and why and have an open mind to see through all
the lies and finally see the light.
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